Roc's First Month

Our baby is one month old today and what a month it has been! Our little guy is growing so fast (I know, not a surprise) and we are struggling to slow down the time so we can make the most of every minute.

At birth and at one month

Roc's first two weeks of life were surrounded by immediate and extended family. My mom was here from the US and different members of Kilian's family were visiting us almost daily. I was in a hormone-induced and sleep-deprived daze for most of it. My body was physically recovering from nine months of pregnancy and the requirements of giving birth while a heavy dosage of postpartum hormones were creating a state of pure ecstasy for me emotionally. It was a strange combination that made me feel capable of doing more than I should have been doing, i.e. socializing with family, going out, walking, not taking enough naps, etc. during that first week or two. Looking back, I realize I should have asked less from myself than I did at that time.

After the excitement of the first weeks died down and I started to feel more myself again, both physically and emotionally, I have been trying to understand my baby better and establish some sort of routine, which hasn't really been possible. Roc doesn't have a pattern yet; he's changing very rapidly. The first weeks, he slept all the time with long feedings every 3-4-5 hours. Now he spends his mornings awake, with short feedings every 30-60 minutes, meaning that I am occupied with him from 7 or 8 until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. It is very hard work! He then falls asleep in the afternoon and usually sleeps continuously with short breaks for feeding until the next day, unless his stomach is bothering him - then he doesn't sleep at all.

"Hey! I'm one month old!"

He is not a crier; he is a grunter. He is pretty mellow, calm, patient and content. He doesn't get upset or fussy from being with a large number of people or around loud noises. For example, the night he was born, we had some 7 or 8 people in the room playing guitar and singing to him. He may or may not have even noticed. The next day, there were probably double that number of people in the house, wanting to hold him and just a great deal of commotion. No problem for Roc. There have been a number of situations where either he completely sleeps through various loud noises or is completely unfazed by lots of people. In general, he does not complain much and he loves when people sing to him.

My husband and I are completely exhausted while also full of joy and love, which helps us through the days and nights. The nights are not as bad as I thought they would be but successive days (and weeks) of inadequate sleep starts to affect you, whether you like or not. We typically will get a total of 5-6 hours of sleep per night, but it is usually punctuated with a couple of feedings and possibly a diaper change. A few nights ago, we got 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep and it was glorious! But that was only once.

Roc's grown so much that he is already out of most of his newborn clothes and starting to fit into three month clothes. I hope they continue to fit through the full three months! He is a really good eater with chunky little thighs. It's crazy to see how much he has grown in a month. He already weighs almost 5kg!

This little soul has brought so much joy and life to our home. We are all too aware of how short-lived these first months are. I try so hard to hold tight on to each moment but it just slips past, beyond grasp. It is so special to just hold him and cuddle him, to study all the details of his face in order to try to record it somewhere in memory, his smell and his gestures and all the related feelings so that in the future, more than a photo remains of these brief times.