On being 39 weeks pregnant...

As this pregnancy winds down, I feel compelled to comment on it.

It's been a pretty enjoyable journey. When I first found out I was pregnant, I really didn't know what to expect. I heard all these horror stories about women who feel so ugly, fat and uncomfortable for nine months. They put on all this weight even though they are constantly vomiting and they can't sleep or basically do anything normally. So I was a little nervous about what was to come, but thankfully, I found that I experienced it very differently.

During the first trimester, I experienced heightened hormones and hence, moodiness and headaches but did not have other pregnancy symptoms. I transitioned in to the second trimester quite smoothly. It was not until around 20 weeks (halfway) that I started to have the slightest baby bump and it was not until the sixth month that I made a complete switch into pregnancy clothes, many of which were just over-sized regular clothes. Even now at 39 weeks, people think I am in my seventh or eighth month; I feel very blessed.

It was important for me to make sure that the clothes I had during pregnancy made me feel beautiful, but that they were also practical. I also made sure to wear makeup and jewelry and spend time on my hair. It makes a difference in how one sees and feels about oneself; it's not about vanity and it's not vain!

The best investment I made for this pregnancy was in a pair of flat Clarks sandals that I could dress up or down. (It was summer. For fall/winter I would recommend a pair of awesome boots with some good support.) Yes, they were Clarks but they weren't as unattractive as expected and they made it possible for me to be on my feet, walking for hours and hours without getting tired or sore. 

I also didn't experience the said pregnancy cravings or increased appetite that many women experience. I think maintaining a healthy, balanced diet is key to preventing cravings and overeating during this time. I did need to have small healthy snacks throughout the day or my blood sugar would drop drastically and I would not be able to function too well. This was very difficult for me but it was the key. I felt like it was training or preparation for motherhood, since during motherhood you have to feed the baby (and later child) throughout the day. There have to be scheduled breaks for the little one and you have to prepare their snacks before you leave the house. Pregnancy really helps prepare you for this - as hard as it is. It requires a bit of detachment from the way you are used to living; it is a preview of what is to come.

At one point during the second trimester, I was dealing with severely dry, itchy skin. It ended up being connected to eating chocolate and drinking coffee. By significantly reducing (I don't have the power to remove these completely) these acidic, caffeinated foods from my diet, my skin recovered within a few days. Another food-related issue I had was during the seventh month. It was when my belly really started to grow and I think the pressure on my stomach and digestive track was very great. It only happened three times but three times for a week at a time is not easy. Basically, I couldn't eat or drink without severe stomach pain, diarrhea and vomiting. It was very intense and I still don't know what caused it. Thankfully, it resolved itself in the end.

One thing that saved me during this pregnancy was continuous exercise, which typically took the form of yoga and some weight training (I didn't have access to an elliptical or pool, which would have been amazing). Just 30 minutes of exercise a few times per week really increased my energy levels like nothing else and it also decreased any tightness or soreness I may have been experiencing.

In the last week or two, I have started to have a bit of swelling in general. I am much more tired than before and there is more pressure on my lower back which makes it challenging to sleep and to walk quickly. I can't complain though. This time will be very short-lived and soon our son will be here. It's been a pleasant experience, requiring patience and detachment. Patience because I have had to wait for nine months and detachment because I will experience a huge life change. I will become a mom and there is no going back to pre-mom Ashley - ever. Here is a beautiful prayer revealed by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá for this moment in time:

My Lord! My Lord! I praise Thee and I thank Thee for that whereby Thou hast favored Thine humble maidservant, Thy slave beseeching and supplicating Thee, because Thou hast verily guided her unto Thine obvious Kingdom and caused her to hear Thine exalted Call in the contingent world and to behold Thy Signs which prove the appearance of Thy victorious reign over all things.

O my Lord, I dedicate that which is in my womb unto Thee. Then cause it to be a praiseworthy child in Thy Kingdom and a fortunate one by Thy favor and Thy generosity; to develop and to grow up under the charge of Thine education. Verily, Thou art the Gracious! Verily, Thou art the Lord of Great Favor!

Life is really busy...but now we have a midwife!

I have been trying to write a few times per week and this has not happened the last two weeks!

We have been so busy and I am hoping that this week I can catch up properly with pictures and posts. I was even sick for the past week because we were so busy before that - just overdoing it!

The most important accomplishment in the past two weeks was finalizing the birth location. We started looking into midwives who offer home birth much too late in this pregnancy and so I spent a lot of time going to/from Tarragona and Barcelona interviewing midwives. In the end we found one (yay!) and we also hired a Baha'i doula. Needless to say, I feel very relieved, excited and ready!

The hospital option made me incredibly apprehensive, despite the fact that the hospital near us is "pro-natural" birth, they still operate with lots of unnecessary protocols that made me feel nervous and unsafe. I see birth as a holistic experience that is all parts emotional, spiritual, physical, mental, and physiological - not only physical or physiological, which is what most medical models of birth follow so it felt necessary for me to give birth around people who also see birth in this way and respect its natural process.

The baby is due in three weeks time (although I am now considered full-term) and my mom will be here the day before his due date. It would be nice if he waited for her to arrive but now that we have everything prepared: newborn prayer, midwife, his bed & supplies, etc., he might be more eager to make his appearance.

I am trying my best to slow down in preparation for his arrival but it has not yet been possible - between meeting frequently with the midwife & doula, finishing up "maternal education" classes, animating two junior youth groups, weekly Ruhi, last minute baby shopping and seeing family, there just has not been a moment to rest. Maybe this is for the better...

The sunset one night.

Pregnancy: Diet and Physical Health

UPDATE: NPR has now posted an article on the relationship between a pregnant woman's choices and the health of their baby based on some new scientific study. It can be read here.
 
I recently read this passage from the Baha'i Writings on the importance of the role of the mother, even before the birth of the baby:

The great importance attached to the mother’s role derives from the fact that she is the first educator of the child. Her attitude, her prayers, even what she eats and her physical condition have a great influence on the child when it is still in the womb. (1)

It stood out to me because it emphasizes the importance of nutrition and physical condition during during pregnancy which we often see neglected by women. There is a popular belief by women that pregnancy provides an excuse to eat whatever you want, as much as you want of it and whenever you want. It's as if pregnancy provides an excuse for gluttony (one of the seven deadly sins) and not just over-eating, but indulging in whatever unhealthy food that is available such as foods high in fat and sugar, simple carbohydrates and fried. 

Time and again we see this destructive pattern around us, so much so that it eventually becomes normal and acceptable, but the truth is that it's not. Not taking care of your body at any time of your life is simply not acceptable and it is especially important during the time in which you are growing a human being who will become responsible for carrying forward the human race. Eating poorly and over-eating causes many diseases such as heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. During pregnancy, it can lead to some dangerous and, at times, lethal conditions such as metabolic toxemia of late pregnancy, also known as preeclampsia, eclampsia, or HELLP syndrome as well as various anemias and infections.

We must remember that our child will be nourished through the food we eat, not the food that we do not eat. If we are eating a diet full of fat, sugar, caffeine and processed chemicals, but lacking in protein, vitamins, folic acid, calcium and iron, how will the baby receive those essential vitamins and nutrients? If we don't supply our body with these nutrients through our diet, then these nutrients are not available for our baby and this increases the chances for us of having a high risk pregnancy and an unhealthy baby.

This passage also considers the aspect of the women's physical condition. To me this refers to the health and strength of the body. It seems to me that if there is ever an excuse to take care of your body, the time is during pregnancy. Pregnancy places a lot of stress on the women's body as it is going through many changes - hormonal, emotional, physical - in order to produce new life. The body labors endlessly over the course of nine months, not even breaking during sleep and the woman often feels very tired and experiences morning sickness, back aches and pains and pinched nerves, has difficulty getting comfortable and sleeping well, to name a few common discomforts. One way to reduce, if not entirely prevent, these symptoms is through regular exercise. This is one way to stay healthy, increase energy and feel good throughout pregnancy (and life in general).

It just seems obvious that taking care of our physical health, both through diet and exercise, are some of the most important factors in having a healthy pregnancy and producing a healthy baby; I find it fascinating that the Baha'i Writings address this issue as well (of course, let's not forget attitude & prayer). If we really love our children and desire what is best for them, it makes sense that we would make efforts to be as healthy as possible while they are growing within us.