While I was preparing breakfast and eating, I noticed that I was having frequent contractions and they felt a little bit different than the typical Braxton-Hicks I was accustomed to experiencing. Typically, I would only experience Braxton-Hicks when awaking from sleep - so at odd hours of the night or first thing in the morning and they would be done once I had gotten up. These contractions were different since I could also feel them in my lower back and continued after I started moving.
I didn't want to jump to conclusions or get too excited (it could have been pre-labor) so I decided to just monitor the situation over breakfast. At one moment, I tried eating during a contraction and it only made me feel nauseous (recommendation: eat between contractions, not during). This bodily response to the food indicated that these were not normal Braxton-Hicks and hence, this might be the real deal. Conclusion: go wake up your husband.
So I made my way upstairs and calmly woke my husband. I waited for him to wake a little before I told him that I had experienced regular contractions for the last 30 minutes that were about 5 minutes apart. He was ready to call the midwife but since it hadn't been at least an hour, we decided to wait. At around 8:30 a.m., we called both our midwife and doula to let them know that regular contractions had started. Our family breakfast plans were effectively cancelled.
The contractions were very manageable and I felt very calm and relaxed. I wasn't sure I was really in labor. It was all so tranquil at home. The contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes and lasting between 45 seconds to 1.5 minutes. I simply breathed through them and focused on relaxing my body and enjoying the process.
The midwife and doula arrived about 15 minutes apart from each other around 10 a.m. Immediately the midwife took my heart rate and blood pressure and monitored the heartbeat of the baby. Everything was going well. At that point, I was still able to carry on a conversation in between the contractions and I was very calm, even too relaxed; the midwife told my mother-in-law that she didn't think I was in labor (she didn't tell me that, ha!) because I was too relaxed and calm and she hadn't seen that before.
My labor continued to progress and I struggled to find a comfortable position. I started on all-fours on the bed and this was good but then the doula brought in the exercise ball for me to lean on with my arms. This relieved a great pressure that was there between my upper stomach and lungs and gave me more space to breathe which was extremely helpful. I tried standing, leaning on the ball while standing and while on the floor and laying on my side but none of these positions worked for me. I could only be on my knees leaning on the ball.
One very helpful thing that the midwife, doula and my husband did was apply pressure to my lower back/hip area with the palm of their hand. The warmth plus the pressure helped relieve a lot of pressure I was feeling from the baby.
The midwife made an infusion with cinnamon, lemon and honey for me to drink during the process but every time I drank anything I would feel nauseous which was followed by burps so I didn't want to take anything in because I thought I would vomit. As a result, I hardly drank anything during the entire labor. Only towards the end, I was able to drink this sports drink (kind of like Gatorade) and it felt really good since it had been many hours without eating or drinking.
Late in the morning, I stopped being able to have a conversation with anyone during the labor. It was time to focus. At that point, I had asked for the birthing pool to be set up. Little did we know that the hot water heater for the house wasn't prepared in time so it ended up taking about 2 hours to set up the pool with the help of the doula, my in-laws including my brother-in-law and his wife. Sometime during this waiting period, my mucous plug had come out.
It must have been around 2 p.m. that I went into the water. By that time, my labor had become increasingly intense and I was ready for a nap. Getting into the water was a huge relief for my muscles and body - everything felt lighter. In the pool, however, I could not get comfortable for the life of me. It didn't feel well to be seated or to float on my stomach or to float on my side or back. And I was very tired and I couldn't fall asleep because I had to keep my head above the water.
My time in the pool was the roughest. I had heard so many great things about birthing pools and what-have-you so I wanted to try it but I am pretty sure I went through transition in the pool. Transition was challenging because that was when I really felt moments where my emotions started getting the best of me.
Until the pool, I had been very focused on positive thinking, breathing and logic. Every moment I felt where I wanted to cry, I had told myself to face it calmly and without excitement, nerves or tension. I was constantly reminding myself that any trace of anxiety, nervousness, fear or resistance would slow down my labor and make it harder on the baby, my body and myself. I was also reminding myself of how capable my body was of doing this work and that I was healthy and strong so there was no need for doubts or worries. Repeating "Alláh-u-Abhá" was also of enormous value. Every time I would focus on the positive, I would feel the Oxytocin release and would feel happier and better in the process.
During my time in the pool (and most probably transition), this constant stream of constructive reasoning was no longer sufficient. My emotions were stronger and I felt what I assume most women feel during this time: feeling like you can't do it and that you want to give up. I was a bit surprised when I started having these negative thoughts and I had to try even harder to counter them with positive thoughts...And then I remembered this quote from ‘Abdu’l-Bahá:
“The woman is indeed of the greater importance to the race. She has the greater burden and the greater work. Look at the vegetable and the animal worlds. The palm which carries the fruit is the tree most prized by the date grower. The Arab knows that for a long journey the mare has the longest wind. For her greater strength and fierceness, the lioness is more feared by the hunter than the lion.
"The mere size of the brain has been proved to be no measure of superiority. The woman has greater moral courage than the man; she has also special gifts which enable her to govern in moments of danger and crisis. If necessary she can become a warrior.”After about an hour of not being comfortable in the pool, it was time to get things moving again so I got out. I think I had one, if not two, contractions outside of the pool before returning to my bedroom. Walking from the room the pool was in to my bedroom (about 20 feet max.) was incredibly difficult. I barely made it to the bed before something was falling out of me! It was my water bag. What a strange feeling! It started coming out whole then broke during the process. It was then that I began to realize that maybe I was really in labor.
The midwife began to prepare for the birth. She set up the birthing stool and got Kilian and I into position. It was her indications that led me to believe I was close to the end. Wow! What a concept when you are in the middle of labor! She had me sit down on this hard birthing stool and had Kilian support me. She asked me if I wanted to feel my baby and told me to put my finger in to feel him. He was just in past the point of my index finger, maybe 3 inches. She told me I could start pushing.
I pushed a few times on that hard stool and that really hurt. She had me pause to make sure I was dilated enough only to find that the baby had dropped almost two inches - yup, I was fully dilated. I moved to the bed since the stool was painful and used the doula for support while pushing. The midwife placed warm towels on my womanly parts and told me to press down towards them. This really helped me direct my pushing in the right direction. Then she told me to push in such a way that the baby stays down. I did that and the baby stayed down. Kilian and her could see his long hair coming out. Then she told me not to push and to wait. I could feel the baby's head opening the vaginal area and coming out on its own. This felt very, very strange and I kind of jerked my leg and stressfully asked "What is happening down there?!"(It's too bad I moved because it caused a tear). After that, the midwife had me move in to position to catch my baby. With one more long push, he was out. It was 3:47 p.m. (Obviously, there is the post-baby labor stuff but I am not going to go through that here).
I was so thankful that Kilian was there the whole time supporting me in every way possible. We also had great support from the midwife and doula as well as the family who were able to help making sure we had everything we needed during the process. While we were in labor, they were very quiet, preparing food and saying prayers.
When everything finally calmed down that evening, we had a small musical devotional in our bedroom for Wendell Roc with all of the immediate family. It was a beautiful way to welcome him into the world.
**UPDATE: My husband's perspective on our homebirth experience can be found here.
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| Within hours of his birth. |
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| The official birth announcement |
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| Wendell Roc |
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